Status Update - Kites

Sandy:  I have a policy of not wishing my life away, but I do sometimes wonder what my life would look like without anxiety. 

DS: Wow, I can hear the voice-over. And the music is a Shawn Colvin song with the vocal track erased.

Sandy: Damn, dude. I'm picturing a line drawing of myself, frowning, wanting to join some people flying kites, but unsure how. You're really bringing me down.

Sandy: (Which sounds like a commercial for Xanax featuring gentle animation. Yuck.)

SN: You steal a kite from a bunch of kids....

Sandy: "My anxiety is gone, but I'm a real dick now!"   (Not said, but implied.)

Status Update - Red Alert

S: I have to fart and I'm sitting on a hard plastic seat. RED ALERT.

JS: Don't trust a fart!!!!

S: I'm clenching!

LT: You can announce it for all of FB, but not actually let it happen? You are a mystery.

EB: I say Let 'er rip.

TO: Easy girl...just don't shit your pants!

JM: Go to the bathroom? Just brainstorming here

S: I couldn't because we were in this classroom watching a movie and all the desks are crammed together and it was a huge ordeal. I held it together though, guys!

GC: By held "it" together, you obviously mean your buttocks.

Status Update - Chin Hair

One of life's greatest joys is tweezing a tenacious chin hair. I almost miss the one I had in my mid-20s, just for the joy of tracking it down and yanking it out.

Status Update - Garden Ridge

I have not been to Garden Ridge in 5 years. In that time it has gone from an overwhelming emporium of craft supplies and home decor to a steaming pile of Hoosierville. 

 

 

Sonnet #2

Obsession captures my heart in a vise.
Love was never supposed to be like this.
All my passions, one look would not suffice.
I'm supposed to be enraptured by bliss.
But bliss has come and marked the beginning
Of my journey into a hellish place.
All your love, your laughing smile so winning
Has sucked all the happiness from my space.
Give me back the world that once was my own.
Let me return to the way my life was.
Solace and solitude are all I've known.
Oh God, just leave me alone, because
I cannot love for fear of seeing hell.
If you love me, my soul I'll surely sell.

Facebook exchange - Seems legit

We are discussing the winter weather......

S: I totally get it, for rillz. It's so candy ass out there, I feel really sorry for my dog. 
C: I do too! She tries elevated squatting and it's redick. 
S: I would be elevating my squatting as well if my only other option was dipping my vadge in the snow.

Sonnet #1

If I should cry, I'm sure you wouldn't care
But time and my life will go flying by.
In sixty years I won't care if you've died
But for right now my love just isn't fair.
Your silence has been more than I can bear
So now I will lay my head down and cry.
I guess I'd rather you tell the truth than lie.
I think I'll kill myself, but would I dare?
I thought that I'd be in love forever,
But then you came along and crushed my dreams.
And now sweetness falls and night engulfs me.
I fall into an abyss of never
And death is imminent, or so it seems.
I want to be shadows, not reality.